tormenting myself

i went to have sushi today.
the moment i started to eat
i started remembering all the times we would
laugh and talk over sushi.
i still remember us talking and laughing about children's
names and what i would name my children in the future.
and how we made fun of the green beans going round the belt saying no one ever ate them
and how when the couple next to us left only a plate of green beans
we suspected that they only took it off the belt to prove us wrong.
then i started to think about him
and wanted to cry.
i wondered about what i would do if i saw him on the streets again
although i think thats not quite possible
i would probably go off to the toilet to cry
i'm such a coward