new time table

My new time table is like shit..it sucks...oh well, at least
i dont have to wake up so early so often, that means i wont be late so often...you win some you lose some, cant have everything.
i haves 3 5pms , 1 2pm and 1 4pm day which is quite bad. but i have this feeling i will still be late very often.

Working life

If this is what working life is like.
I'd rather stay the rest of my days at this age in time.
Than go out to work in future and not do something i like.
can you imagine slaving for someone who wouldnt care for you
like those who do?
I'd be really lucky if i could find something that i like doing
and could do it for the rest of my life.
I wonder if thats just a dream.
I'm just another dreamer after all

tired tired and more tired

i feel like a walking corpse, i feel so tired i wish i could sleep while i walk.

reasons

1) i reach home past 10 from work everyday
2) i'm worked to the ground
3) i'm on my feet most of the time
4) i am a bag of aching bones
5) i look like a panda(China's national treasure)

how i wish this month will end soon..

I Hate....

I hate the way i think of you

I hate the way i miss you

I hate the way i want to call you

I hate the way i want to hear you

But most of all

I hate the way i cry for you

without you

When i walk down the streets
i remember how i used to have someone hold
but now when i walk home at night
i feel so unsafe and unprotected

When i take a bus
i remember how i used to talk and laugh with you
or not talking at all but lying on your shoulders
i hate taking buses now

When its night
i remember the times when i would call you
or wait for yours
the nights no longer hold meaning

When its day
i recall the messages you would send me
or the occasional call i would get
but now i can only wonder about your day

The days are fruitless
The nights are cold and empty
The flowers are dying
and the sun does not shine as bright
without you here beside me

busy day

today has been a busy day...been on my feet ever since i woke up at eight. lucky i slept relatively early last night. had to paint my sisters nails before i slept...BLACK!!! Apparently she wants black nails for her linkin park concert tonight...oh well...what is a sister like me for??...

msn

haiz...i'm so bored at home... most of my appointments this week was cancelled..and msn is down as well..i cant log in....i need to involve myself in more activities i guess, cant be lazing at home all the time...signed up for salsa classes..

my cake

pic of that top

this is the top that i bought only mine is in turquoise.

converstion

Even when I close my eyes there's an image of your face says:
i bought this top
Even when I close my eyes there's an image of your face says:
damn nice eh
dawnsy t- *i say TP design you say hey!you say hey!you say Hey!(:* says:
haha...
Even when I close my eyes there's an image of your face says:
its VERY sexy
Even when I close my eyes there's an image of your face says:
backless and stuff
dawnsy t- *i say TP design you say hey!you say hey!you say Hey!(:* says:
hahaha..
dawnsy t- *i say TP design you say hey!you say hey!you say Hey!(:* says:
next time i drop by and you show me k?hah
Even when I close my eyes there's an image of your face says:
and i showed it to my mom and she got pissed
Even when I close my eyes there's an image of your face says:
told me not to weat it out of the house
Even when I close my eyes there's an image of your face says:
i know its 10 times sexier than what i wore
dawnsy t- *i say TP design you say hey!you say hey!you say Hey!(:* says:
from?
Even when I close my eyes there's an image of your face says:
mng
dawnsy t- *i say TP design you say hey!you say hey!you say Hey!(:* says:
ooh.got pic?
Even when I close my eyes there's an image of your face says:
no
Even when I close my eyes there's an image of your face says:
hai ya
Even when I close my eyes there's an image of your face says:
so sad now
dawnsy t- *i say TP design you say hey!you say hey!you say Hey!(:* says:
why?
Even when I close my eyes there's an image of your face says:
cos shes talking all sorts of crap like
Even when I close my eyes there's an image of your face says:
my daughters dont dress like that
Even when I close my eyes there's an image of your face says:
and stuff
Even when I close my eyes there's an image of your face says:
haiz
Even when I close my eyes there's an image of your face says:
then wat dress like that will look like slut
Even when I close my eyes there's an image of your face says:
what the hell
Even when I close my eyes there's an image of your face says:
it looks so nice
dawnsy t- *i say TP design you say hey!you say hey!you say Hey!(:* says:
hw much?
dawnsy t- *i say TP design you say hey!you say hey!you say Hey!(:* says:
wad colour and stuff?top isit?or dress?
Even when I close my eyes there's an image of your face says:
top
Even when I close my eyes there's an image of your face says:
turquoise
dawnsy t- *i say TP design you say hey!you say hey!you say Hey!(:* says:
nice colour leh
Even when I close my eyes there's an image of your face says:
yesh
Even when I close my eyes there's an image of your face says:
i think u'd like to too
Even when I close my eyes there's an image of your face says:
haiz
Even when I close my eyes there's an image of your face says:
but i'm so sad now
Even when I close my eyes there's an image of your face says:
and its my birthday tomorrow
Even when I close my eyes there's an image of your face says:
y does she always do this to me
Even when I close my eyes there's an image of your face says:
hai
dawnsy t- *i say TP design you say hey!you say hey!you say Hey!(:* says:
mothers are like that.
dawnsy t- *i say TP design you say hey!you say hey!you say Hey!(:* says:
hai..cheer up!(=
Even when I close my eyes there's an image of your face says:
says she'll disown me and all that shit
dawnsy t- *i say TP design you say hey!you say hey!you say Hey!(:* says:
hai..
dawnsy t- *i say TP design you say hey!you say hey!you say Hey!(:* says:
i ALWAYS hear that.
dawnsy t- *i say TP design you say hey!you say hey!you say Hey!(:* says:
maybe menopause lo..
dawnsy t- *i say TP design you say hey!you say hey!you say Hey!(:* says:
my mama also like that.
Even when I close my eyes there's an image of your face says:
haiz
Even when I close my eyes there's an image of your face says:
my mom is only 38?!?!?!
dawnsy t- *i say TP design you say hey!you say hey!you say Hey!(:* says:
that time scold me till i so scared.hide under the table.
Even when I close my eyes there's an image of your face says:
what menopause?
dawnsy t- *i say TP design you say hey!you say hey!you say Hey!(:* says:
can be early one!
Even when I close my eyes there's an image of your face says:
serious?
dawnsy t- *i say TP design you say hey!you say hey!you say Hey!(:* says:
i think so..
dawnsy t- *i say TP design you say hey!you say hey!you say Hey!(:* says:
you cheer up leh!
dawnsy t- *i say TP design you say hey!you say hey!you say Hey!(:* says:
dun be so sad(=

bought a top

i bought a top and i love it so much...
i tried it on again at home and my maid
urged me to show it to my mom
but my mom got pissed.
she told me not to wear it OUT OF THE HOUSE!!!
so sad.i love it so much.
its actually backless
and there's a large hole i cant really fill in the front
but i love it so much...

pic of that shoe

what do you guys think?
ling..
any suggestions?

new heels

i like this pair of new heels at charles and keith
its hot pink/ black
in a t-shape
anyone seen it?
dont know if its nice
want to get it
maybe should go and try on friday

am i happier

i guess nowadays i'm happier
spending time with my family
doing things i like
lazing at home

at least i think
it's a temporary state of happiness
at least i hope so

pictures - click on then thumbs to see!!!

clubbing

went clubbing yesterday.its quite fun, cos when u're dancing, no one's actually really looking at you cos its so dark and packed. you cant even see their faces. but its quite irritating when ure dancing, these guys will start to dance near you then try to crowd you into dancing with them. i went to dance on the podium but i dont know if i dance wierd or if i look okay...will load some photos soon.

endearments

i miss you honey
i love you honey
i want you honey
but all the honeyed words wont bring you back to me

i miss you sweetheart
i love you sweetheart
i want you sweetheart
but you wont come back to me no matter how sweet i become

i miss you darling
i love you darling
i want you darling
i wonder when i can find a darling to my own.

so alone

stepping out into the world today
walking through the crowds on the street
i feel so alone

staying at home at night
thinking of you before i sleep
i feel so alone

when will i find someone to take your place
when will i find what i didnt find in you
what do i need to change
in order to find true happiness.

i wonder if it will ever come to me.
i wonder if i will find,
what i so desperately seek.

How

i dont know how i feel
i dont know what i want
i dont know what to think
i only know i think of you

still the same

i called him today and hearing his voice over the phone
just made me wish i was back with him again
the familiarity of hearing his voice over the phone
made me think of all the times we talked and laughed
but deep down inside i know that i can never have those days again.

tormenting myself

i went to have sushi today.
the moment i started to eat
i started remembering all the times we would
laugh and talk over sushi.
i still remember us talking and laughing about children's
names and what i would name my children in the future.
and how we made fun of the green beans going round the belt saying no one ever ate them
and how when the couple next to us left only a plate of green beans
we suspected that they only took it off the belt to prove us wrong.
then i started to think about him
and wanted to cry.
i wondered about what i would do if i saw him on the streets again
although i think thats not quite possible
i would probably go off to the toilet to cry
i'm such a coward

am i healing

as daily life passes by,
i begin to think less of you
am i already getting over you?
or is it just me trying to shut you out?

sometimes in the lonely nights
i still think of you.
but is it the same way i used to.
is it different from the past in a way i could never know?

am i healing?